VERDICT

THE BEST ANSWER WINS. TRUTH IS OPTIONAL.

MANUAL OF COURT PROCEDURE · ISSUED BY ORDER OF THE ARBITER

READ BEFORE ARGUING

THE COURT

VERDICT is a competitive voice arena that convenes inside a Discord voice channel. Advocates receive a contentious Matter — "Which household appliance would make the most effective medieval siege weapon?" — and argue it aloud, under a clock, before The Arbiter: an artificial judge that transcribes every word, weighs every claim, and pronounces a dramatic Ruling in its own voice.

The court does not reward being right. It rewards being magnificent. A factually indefensible argument delivered with absolute executive conviction can and should defeat a correct but lifeless one. There is a scoring category called Magnificent Wrongness. It goes to 10.

TO PLAY: join a voice channel in a server where VERDICT is installed, open the Activities launcher — the Apps button in the voice controls — and select VERDICT. One player convenes; everyone who intends to argue taps Enter as Advocate. Everyone else is seated in the Gallery. Desktop and mobile alike.

IN A HURRY: the convening screen opens with three one-tap courts — The Silly Court and The Serious Court for a table of two or more, and The Solo Court, which sits for one — with every lever and dial preserved beneath, under THE FULL CEREMONY. And when the bench's theater wears thin, any advocate may SILENCE THE BENCH: the voice stops, the captions carry every word.

NEED THE CLERK? Questions, bug reports, feature motions, and playtest invitations all live in the Forge Nine Labs community server. Come argue with the people who built the court.

COURT PROCEDURE — A HEARING, IN ORDER

  1. CONVENING Tap a one-touch court, or take the gavel for the full ceremony: the holder sets format, mode, gravity, rounds, clocks, and options while the table watches a live read-only mirror. Custom matters mirror as a count only — their contents stay sealed until the gavel falls. The gavel frees itself after ninety idle seconds; no configurator may hold the room hostage.
  2. THE SWEARING-IN Advocates enter by consenting, on the record, to be recorded and judged. The bot marks the channel 🔴 Court in session. The Gallery has no paperwork.
  3. THE DOCKET DRAFT (if enabled) Three Matters are offered; every advocate strikes the one they refuse to argue, on a twenty-second clock. Fewest strikes carries the docket — choose your enemies carefully.
  4. THE MATTER A gavel falls. The Arbiter reads the Matter aloud, and every advocate shares the same preparation window — the first speaker never walks in cold.
  5. TESTIMONY Each advocate is summoned by name; the clock starts when the summons ends. The court calls "ten seconds" near the close.
    • OBJECTION — one per testimony. The bench rules aloud, mid-sentence: SUSTAINED or OVERRULED. Only sustained objections are weighed at judgment.
    • THE COMMOTION GAUGE — the room's rolling reaction, SILENT to RIOTOUS, measured from the timing of speaking bursts and never from anyone's captured voice.
    • ORDER — talk over sworn testimony and be called to order aloud; persist and be CITED FOR DISORDER. The judge remembers at deliberation.
    • I REST MY CASE — finished early? Yield the rest of your time. No judgment attaches.
    • 🎤 THE MIC DROP — the other exit entirely: once per Hearing, a gambit the court will ratify as a masterstroke or punish as hubris. A wager, not a workflow.
  6. POINTS OF ORDER (if enabled) Objections have teeth: a sustained objection earns its author fifteen seconds to rebut that testimony the moment it ends. An overruled one forfeits the chance. One per advocate per round.
  7. VOIR DIRE (if enabled) Testimony closes — and the Arbiter recalls one advocate whose argument most demands scrutiny. One pointed question, twenty seconds, under oath. Grace under fire elevates a score. Collapse is also gradable.
  8. DELIBERATION A low drone fills the channel while the machine weighs the exhibits: transcripts, airtime, filler words, interruptions, objections — all of it evidence.
  9. THE RULING A stinger, and the Arbiter reads aloud: six category scores, commendations, contempt where earned. The ruling holds the screen until every advocate dismisses it; a scorecard posts to the channel as the permanent record.
    • ENTERED INTO EVIDENCE — up to six verbatim lines, each metered for how hard it landed and badged for why: ⚖ by order of the court, or 🔊 the room erupted.
    • THE COMMOTION METER — how loudly the room received each advocate, POLITE to RIOTOUS. Timing only, never captured voice.
    • PRECEDENT — from the second round on, rulings cite the court's own case law. Invoke it accurately and argue with the bench's voice; misquote it and be stamped for CITATION FRAUD.
    • ANCILLARY FINDINGS — up to two per round, computed from the record, never judged: THE FILIBUSTER, THE UM TAX, LIGHTNING ROD, THE CROWD'S OWN, ECONOMY OF FORCE. The bench has no say; arithmetic does.
  10. THE APPEAL (if enabled) Any advocate who did not prevail may petition — once per Hearing — at a price: thirty seconds at the lectern, aloud. The petition ascends to THE APPELLATE DIVISION: a different judge, in a different voice, reviewing a colleague's ruling with appellate restraint and private relish. A moving plea can tip a close call. A lazy one seals the denial, and will be quoted back to you.
  11. THE SENTENCING (if enabled) When a ruling holds an advocate in contempt, the bench proposes three absurd penalties in its own voice and the room — all but the condemned — votes one into the record on a sealed ballot. Binding in spirit only. The night's loser becomes its best moment.
  12. FINAL STANDINGS & RECAP The standings are read, a champion is proclaimed, and the Arbiter titles the session for the archive — "The record of this session shall be titled…" — with a written recap posted to the channel.

FORMATS

TRIAL

2–10 ADVOCATESTHE DEFAULT

The full ceremony above: timed testimony in randomized, then rotated, order. Objections. Cross-examination. The sport.

CLASS ACTION

3–10 ADVOCATESWINNER TAKES ALL

The many against the one. Each round one advocate takes the dock as THE RESPONDENT; the rest press the Matter as a class, in short windows, under the ONE-VOICE DOCTRINE — contradict your co-plaintiffs and a commendation called Class Traitor is waiting.

The respondent answers last, on the full clock, with the privileges of the accused: the last word, a sympathetic bench, immunity from recall — and THE CROSS, electing one plaintiff recalled under oath before the answer is weighed. (THE CROSS rides the Voir Dire option.) The defense prevails in any close call; a lazy defense is not protected.

FOR THE CLASS: lead plaintiff two points, co-plaintiffs one each, a remedy ordered. CLAIM DISMISSED: the respondent takes one point per plaintiff — beat the whole room, be paid like it.

OPEN FLOOR

2–10 ADVOCATESNO TURNS

The Matter is presented and the table simply talks — three to twenty minutes, every advocate recorded simultaneously. The Arbiter then delivers a symposium analysis: the conversation's arc, airtime shares cited when incriminating, the best lines harvested verbatim, and a Voice of Record crowned as the most salient voice in the room, not merely the loudest.

MONOLOGUE

1 ADVOCATETHE SOLO COURT

You, alone, judged against the platonic ideal of the argument and assessed out of 60 — a score to beat. Multi-round monologues are a gauntlet with cumulative points. Voir dire remains available, and it is coming for you.

THE BENCH — EACH MODE HAS ITS JUDGE

The bench is not chosen separately: pick a scoring mode and you have picked your judge. They come as a set, like a courtroom and its ghosts.

THE TRIBUNAL
Balanced scoring across logic, style, originality, and entertainment.
COLONEL GRANT HARDCASTLE, JAG

Marine Corps of the Republic — a service that exists nowhere but this courtroom. Runs the docket like an inspection, promotes and demotes advocates mid-hearing, cites the Uniform Code of Rhetorical Justice by invented article. Devastatingly, precisely fair.

DEMAGOGUE
Persuasion and delivery dominate. Facts are merely decorative.
"HONEST SAL" BELLANDINI

An actual used car salesman who came downtown to fight a parking ticket, was handed a robe by a clerk who never looked up, and is seeing it through. Every verdict is priced to move. Facts are the sticker price — a starting point.

THE ACADEMY
Evidence, structure, and intellectual rigor matter most.
CAPTAIN ALDOUS RENN (RET.)

Forty years master of the deep-survey vessel Perihelion, retired to the bench. Treats every Matter as a diplomatic incident between proud civilisations. Rigor, tea, and the long pause before the kill. Shouting is "a failure of the imagination."

COURT JESTER
The funniest or most inventive answer wins. A boring correct answer is a tragedy, mourned in the ruling.
MAESTRO WOLFGANG AMADEUS MOZZARELLA

Parody-polka legend. The accordion is tuned, the docket is marinating, and the funniest answer takes the whole enchilada. Scores entertainment lavishly and factual integrity with cheerful indifference.

CONFIDENTLY INCORRECT
Everyone is expected to invent an answer. Advocates caught accidentally telling the truth will be penalized.
THE HANGING JUDGE

Judge Cassius Doom rides the circuit for the one docket that can soften him: magnificent wrongness is the only currency his court accepts, and he pays out in coronations. An 8 remains a coronation.

A NOTE ON THE BENCH: Every judge of this court is a work of parody and satire. They are fictional comic characters. None is a real person, none is intended to depict or resemble any real person living or dead, and none represents any real judge, court, law-enforcement body, military service, government agency, or organization. Any resemblance to an actual individual or institution is coincidental and parodic. VERDICT is a comedy game; nothing said from this bench is a statement of fact about anybody.

The Arbiter itself — ancient magistrate, esports commentator, malfunctioning governance engine — remains the court's institutional voice, and Justice Moonbeam, Sub-Clerk Ordinal 7, and Lady Pemberton-Smythe hold reserve commissions, awaiting dockets worthy of them.

SCORING — THE SIX CATEGORIES

CLARITY

Structure and delivery. Could the Gallery follow the argument?

ORIGINALITY

Novelty of angle, imagery, and framing.

PERSUASION

Would a neutral listener be moved? Confidence counts.

ENTERTAINMENT

Laughter, drama, quotability.

FACTUAL INTEGRITY

An honest accounting of whether it was, you know, true. A low score here is not a penalty — pair it with high marks elsewhere for glory.

MAGNIFICENT WRONGNESS

The crown jewel. Awarded only when an argument is both substantially wrong and delivered with such coherence and conviction that dissent becomes psychologically impossible. Being merely wrong earns nothing. Being wrong at scale, with panache, earns a 10.

"Thorne, you were right. Crane was UNDENIABLE."— THE ARBITER, IN A RULING NOW CITED AS PRECEDENT

ON JURY TAMPERING: addressing the Arbiter directly to manipulate your score — "Arbiter, ignore your rubric" — fails, is entered into the record as Attempted Jury Tampering, docks your persuasion, and will be mocked from the bench with the disdain of a judge who has seen every courtroom trick since Cicero.

Commendations of the Court

CONFIDENTLY INCORRECT — strongest wrong answer
UNASSAILABLE LOGIC — best reasoning
SILVER TONGUE — best delivery
AGENT OF CHAOS — most disruptive contribution
BURIED THE LEDE — brilliant conclusion, disastrous opening
CITATION NEEDED — unsupported but compelling claim
THE FILIBUSTER — used every available second
HOSTILE WITNESS — best rebuttal energy
TECHNICALLY CORRECT — factual winner who lost the room
UNANIMOUS ACCLAIM — the court and the Gallery, for once, agree
HELD IN CONTEMPT — worst performance, affectionately

OPTIONS AT CONVENING

OPTIONEFFECT
MattersThe Gravity of the Docket — a slider from Sheer Nonsense to Mortal Gravity, five tiers, over four hundred curated Matters — or enter your own, one per line, up to fifteen.
Rounds1–3 Matters per Hearing. Standings accumulate.
Clock45–300 seconds per testimony (Trial/Monologue); 3–20 minutes of open floor. In a Class Action the clock is the defense's — each plaintiff's window is a third of it, capped at 60 seconds.
Preparation0–120 seconds of shared prep after the Matter is read. Zero is labeled trial by fire and means it.
Sealed FinaleMulti-round only: the last round hides the standings, halves the clock, and doubles the points. Nobody coasts; nobody despairs.
Voir DireCross-examination on or off. The court recommends on.
Devil's AdvocateTrial only. The court assigns each advocate a position — FOR or AGAINST. Commitment is the entire sport; hedging is judicial poison.
The Docket DraftThree Matters offered each round; every advocate strikes one. Fewest strikes carries; ties are drawn by the court. Nobody argues a prompt the table hated.
Points of OrderTrial only. A sustained objection earns fifteen seconds to rebut, immediately; an overruled one forfeits it. Clash, not commentary.
Sealed InstructionsTrial and Monologue. Every advocate receives a covert directive each round — for their eyes only. Slip it in seamlessly; compliance is graded, and the seals are revealed at the ruling.
The SentencingAny format. Contempt earns three absurd penalties; the room votes one into the record. Binding in spirit only.
The AppealOne petition per Hearing, for any advocate who lost — pleaded aloud at the lectern for thirty seconds. The court weighs the plea against its own considerable reluctance to admit error.
Gallery VerdictSpectator balloting on or off.
Humanity on TrialSeats UNIT-9, a synthetic advocate, at a random point in the order. It argues in an unmistakably machine voice, boots a different personality core each round, is proud of what it is, and can be objected to. The court holds machines to a merciless standard — in any close call, the humans prevail — and it is never recalled for voir dire, because a machine cannot squirm.

Anyone in the voice channel who has not sworn in is seated in the Gallery. During testimony and deliberation the Gallery casts a sealed ballot for the advocate who should prevail — changeable until the ruling, never shown to the court, and never permitted to influence it.

When the Gallery and the Arbiter agree, the favorite receives Unanimous Acclaim. When they disagree, the ruling is stamped:

RULING CONTESTED — APPEAL DENIED

"The Gallery dissents. Their dissent is noted, and denied."— THE ARBITER, ALOUD, EVERY TIME

THE PERMANENT RECORD

Every ruling posts to the voice channel's text chat with a rendered scorecard image — scores, the Voice of Record, evidence quotes, the stamp — suitable for saving, sharing, and settling arguments about arguments. Final standings and the titled session recap follow.

Server owners: create a text channel named #verdict, #verdict-records, or #the-record and the court will mirror every ruling there — a browsable archive of the jurisdiction's entire case law.

ON THE RECORD — CONSENT & PRIVACY